For married couples, keeping your relationship healthy and strong needs to be a top priority. We know marriage is important to God, too: He instituted marriage, and when the Pharisees tried to test Jesus by asking about divorce, His teaching about the importance of marriage was clear:

“Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” -Matthew 19:4-6

An excellent way to honor God and keep your marriage strong is with a regular date night, at least once a month. Setting aside time for one another, just the two of you (not buried in your phones), is a tangible reminder to prioritize your marriage. Research even shows that having a monthly date night makes a marriage more likely to last!

Of course, going on a date as a married couple can feel far different from when you were first dating. Then, you were still getting to know each other; everything felt fresh and new, and you could talk about anything for hours. Now, you may feel as though you know everything there is to know about each other, and all that’s left to talk about is work and the kids.

But nothing could be further from the truth! Your spouse is the one person you should be able to discuss anything and everything with, and if it seems you’ve run out of topics, all you need are a few suggestions. Try some of these conversation starters on your next date night, and see where they take you.

Date Night Conversation Starters for Learning More About Each Other:

  • If you had unlimited time, what skill would you want to master?
  • If you had the talent and skills necessary to become anything you wanted, what would be your dream job?
  • Considering your personality, what would be the worst job in the world for you?
  • What is one thing you wish we did before having kids? (Or, for those without children:) What is one thing you hope we do before having kids?
  • What is the scariest dream you ever had?
  • What is the best dream you ever had?
  • If we could have an all-expenses-paid trip to anywhere in the world, where would you want to go?
  • If we could live anywhere in the world, where would you want to live?
  • Would you rather live in your dream house but never travel, or stay where we are and take a fabulous trip once per year?
  • If you had an entire day completely to yourself, what would you want to do?
  • If we could take a road trip anywhere in the country, where would you want to go?
  • When was the moment you first thought you wanted to marry me?
  • If you could design a game show that you’d be sure to win, what would it be?
  • If you could live in any time period in the past, which would you choose and why?
  • If you had a time machine that could take you to any point in history, but it would only work once and only for 30 minutes, where would you go and why?
  • What is your favorite memory from our wedding?
  • If you could plan our wedding all over again, what would you change?
  • If you could own a vacation home, would it be on the beach, in the mountains, or in the city?
  • Can you remember the time in your life when you laughed the hardest? What was it about?

Date Night Conversation Starters for Personal and Marital Growth:

  • What is one thing I can do differently that would make you happier?
  • What is one thing I do that you want me to never stop doing?
  • Before we got married, was there anything you hoped I would change about myself? What was it? Have I changed it? How do you feel about it now?
  • What are the three main reasons you believe our marriage works?
  • Can you think of one way being married has changed you for the better? Is there anything else you would like to change about yourself?
  • What is one trait of mine you want me to keep honing because you hope our children emulate it?
  • Can you think of a couple whose relationship you’ve always admired? What do you admire about it and how can we be more like them?
  • What is your biggest fear? How can I help allay that fear?
  • How would you describe me to someone who’s never met me?
  • What is one area where I could stand to improve myself?
  • What is one thing about our parenting that you want to do differently from your parents?

Date Night Conversation Starters for Growing Closer Spiritually:

  • Has there been a time in your life when you heard God speak clearly to you? What did He say?
  • Do you have a favorite book of the Bible? Which is it and why?
  • Do you have a favorite Bible verse? Why is it your favorite? (Consider following this one up by handwriting or printing the verse and hanging it on the bathroom mirror or somewhere your spouse will see it every day.)
  • Has there ever been a time when you felt far from God? What did you do?
  • Do you ever have doubts about your faith? If so, what are they? And how do you resolve them?
  • Was there a time when you felt God’s love for you in a very real way?
  • When do you feel closest to the Lord?
  • Which moment from the Bible would you most have liked to personally witness?
  • What is the first question you’ll ask God when you get to heaven?
  • When was a time God answered your prayers?

Date Night Conversation Starters for Dreaming About Your Future Together:

  • Where do you think we’ll be in ten years? Will we have the same jobs? Will we live in the same place?
  • What is the single biggest change you hope to make in our lives in the next year?
  • What is one big-ticket item you’d love to save up for?
  • What is one activity we’ve never done together that you want to do someday?
  • What are the top five items on your bucket list? (Or for a fun challenge, each of you write down your top five bucket list items, then guess what your spouse wrote before revealing your lists.)
  • How do you envision retirement? Do you think you’ll want to fully retire? Or do you see yourself keeping a part-time job or taking on volunteer work to stay busy?
  • What is the one thing you think you will always be passionate about? How do you see it playing out in your life?
  • Based on what we know about our kids’ personalities and interests, what careers do you see them having when they grow up?
  • What is one thing you can see us as a couple doing together to help other people?

Date Night Conversation Starters Just for Fun:

  • If you could have one superpower, what would it be and how would you use it?
  • Which actor would you want to play you in a movie about your life?
  • Who was your first celebrity crush?
  • Which movie scared you the most as a kid?
  • If we won $100,000, what would you do with it? What about $1 million? How about $10 million?
  • What is one place you’ve visited that you wish you could visit again?
  • How much money would it take to get you to eat a bowl of grasshoppers?
  • Name your five favorite things to eat. If you had to give up one of them forever, which would it be?
  • If you could step into any book or movie and live there, which one would you choose and why?
  • If you could choose three people to help you survive the zombie apocalypse, who would you pick? What if you could choose three fictional characters?
  • You have been sentenced to one year of exile in a remote cabin. You are allowed to bring one movie, one book, and one personal item. What will you take with you?
  • If aliens landed on earth tomorrow, who would you choose to represent humanity and negotiate with them on our behalf?

Date Nights are About Connection, Not Just Conversation

As husband and wife, you ought to know each other better than anyone else knows you. If your spouse were a field of study, you should be the world’s foremost expert. With regular date nights and thoughtful questions, you’ll learn more than you knew before—and you can keep learning as the years go by.

Showing interest in one another, dreaming about the future, discussing spiritual things, and just laughing together: all of these are ways to keep your relationship healthy and strong. Take this list of conversation starters along on your next date night, and have fun!

Feeling stuck in your marriage?  Re|engage can help!