LESSONS I'VE LEARNED AS A MOM OF BOYS

If you are the parent of boys, you probably are being faced with challenges unlike any other experience in life. Raising boys is a one-of-a-kind experience. As we understand what makes this calling unique, we begin to see (and enjoy) the way God innately created our sons. Here are some of the lessons I have learned as a mom of boys.

1 | Boys Spit!

For no other reason than because they can. It is some kind of right of passage. You can’t really control it, but you can direct it. Spitting is forbidden anywhere someone might be walking. This, of course, brought on a whole new debate, but at least people weren’t dodging our boys’ spit.

2 | Snowballs are for Throwing

If there is snow falling, snowballs will be flying and so is anything else boys can find to use as a projectile object. It is part of boys’ brains, taking objects and propelling them somehow through the air. I couldn’t stop the throwing of snowballs by my husband or our sons, but I could minimize the damage by limiting the target. “When throwing snowballs at your sister aim below the head.”

3 | At least ask if they are okay before you start to laugh out loud

Males’ level of sympathy and empathy is a bit different than that of girls. Where girls first instinct is to run over to a friend who has fallen or hit in sensitive areas of the body to see if they are okay, boys first instinct is to cringe first and then laugh hysterically. There is no age limit to this reaction and apparently, this reaction never gets old.

4 | Twenty-five words or less and make most of them verbs

Males are doers. They think in verbs. They think in motion. Females think in nouns. They think in detail and description. Let’s face it ladies, we talk too much and think we can solve all problems and situations with words. We can’t. Actually, males (of all ages) tune out about word five. So do yourself a favor; make your words count, use as few as possible and brush up on your verbs.

5 | Silence is Golden

Words can be overrated to boys. Monday through Friday, your son has spent the equivalent of a full time job sitting in a classroom. Try not to ask about his day or how he is doing unless he speaks first. Give him time to process his day and decompress by playing, eating, hanging out with friends, or limited screen time. Later, ask about his day with a well thought out question over dinner, shooting

6 | Is it Wrong or Just Different?

When your boys choose to complete a task differently than you would complete it, before you tell him it is wrong, pause, take a deep breathe and ask yourself if it is wrong or is it just different than you would do it? Mom’s way is not always the right way or the only way.

7 | Get in Touch with your “Boys” Lens

Mark Twain once said, “I never let schooling interfere with my education.” Boys are naturally curious and even though it might be a bit scary to watch them in action, try not to jump in immediately. Observe, take note and don’t assume you know what they are thinking. There is more to exploring and learning than what is being taught in classrooms.

8 | If All Else Fails, Read Calvin and Hobbes

For years, our son Luke would only read Calvin and Hobbes. His teachers would constantly try and get him to expand his horizons to no avail. What I learned from Calvin and Hobbes was through wit, wisdom, and humor there was a whole lot of reality concerning “Boy World”. Looking at this mystical world through the eyes of a six year old boy and his stuffed tiger/imaginary friend gives more insight than you realize and it will make you smile. We still have every volume of Calvin and Hobbes. The content is timeless and who knows, you just might learn something about boys.

If you are the parent of boys, you probably are being faced with challenges unlike any other experience in life. Raising boys is a one-of-a-kind experience. As we understand what makes this calling unique, we begin to see (and enjoy) the way God innately created our sons. Here are some of the lessons I have learned as a mom of boys.