A few years ago, I decided to plant blue hydrangeas in front of our house. Something about starting a new hobby and watching a beautiful plant grow encouraged my grieving heart. It had been a hard few years, and I was learning that finding joy amid grief is possible when I rest in God’s presence.

When I became a mom, I faced the heartbreaking loss of both my parents. The death of a loved one changes everything, and grief took hold of my life. I lost my joy. Through many tears, I found myself asking God why?

Why did I have to walk into motherhood without the support of my parents? This season of grief felt overwhelming, and I didn’t know how to hold grief and joy at the same time.

In my heartache, I clung to Psalm 61:2-4.

“From the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge.”

Slowly, I began to rest and rely on Jesus, even when all I had was tears. I learned what it meant to let go and let him carry what I could not.

My little attempt at gardening was teaching me something valuable: You must have patience, waiting and trusting that something beautiful will grow.

This is exactly what Jesus invites us into during our hardest seasons: to wait in his presence, rely on him for joy, and trust that he is doing something even when we cannot see it yet. Even in this difficult time, God was at work.

Grief and Joy Can Exist in the Same Heart

For a long time, I thought that if I was grieving, joy was not possible. If I felt joy, that meant I wasn’t honoring my loss. God gently showed me that he never asked me to choose. Jesus himself was described as “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3), and yet he also said, “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete” (John 15:11).

Our sorrows do not need to disappear for us to experience joy again.

God is big enough to hold both at the same time. When we stop fighting against this truth, we begin to experience the comfort of his Spirit in ways we never imagined.

The Bible speaks clearly about this tension in 1 Thessalonians 4:13:

“We do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” Notice Paul doesn’t say we won’t grieve. He says we grieve with hope.

Christian grief looks different because it carries the promise of resurrection, reunion, and restoration. Because Jesus died and rose again, we grieve differently than those without hope. His resurrection doesn’t minimize the pain, but it anchors us in something beyond the pain.

Waiting on God When You Can’t See What He’s Doing

With hybrid hydrangeas, pruning too soon does more harm than good. You must wait and let new growth show you what is alive before you know what to let go of.

Hard seasons work the same way. When we rush to find a quick fix or move through the grief process too quickly, we can miss what God is doing beneath the surface.

Isaiah 40:31 reminds us, “Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.”

Nothing about your season will be wasted in his hands. Even on a single day when the weight of loss feels unbearable, God is present and working.

Waiting in grief is one of the hardest spiritual disciplines. We want answers. We want relief. We want to feel normal again. But God often works in the waiting, shaping our hearts in ways that only time and trust can accomplish.

Slow Growth Is Still Growth When Dealing with Grief

There were days in my grief where it felt like too much to carry. The loss of a loved one drains your time and energy in ways you never expected. But looking back, I can see that God was so good to me during that time, quietly at work.

Slow growth doesn’t look like much from the outside, but in the quiet something is taking hold. If you are in a season where progress feels non-existent, know that God is in the pain with you and you are not standing still. Even in moments of grief that feel endless, you are becoming.

Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies are new every morning.”

The quiet details about your season matter to him.

Growth in hard seasons doesn’t always look the way we expect. The joy we experience while walking through something hard isn’t the same joy we had before and that’s okay. What Jesus grows in us through waiting, pain, and slow seasons is deeper and more resilient.

What Finding Joy in Grief Actually Looks Like

Joy in grief doesn’t mean you’re always happy or that you’ve “moved on.” It means you can experience moments of peace, gratitude, and even laughter without guilt. The grieving process looks different for everyone, but it always involves trusting that God is still good even when life is hard.

Here’s what finding joy amid grief might look like:

• Tears and gratitude can coexist. You can cry over your loss and thank God for his presence in the same breath.
• You can laugh without feeling like you’re betraying your grief. God gives us moments of lightness even in heavy seasons.
• You can feel God’s comfort even when the pain is still real. His presence doesn’t erase the hurt, but it sustains you through it.
• You can hope for healing while still honoring your loss. Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting. It means trusting God to carry you.

How to Cultivate Joy While Grieving

If you’re in the middle of grief right now, you might be wondering how to practically find joy when everything feels heavy. The sense of loss can be overwhelming, but there are gentle steps you can take:

1. Give yourself permission to feel both. Stop believing the lie that joy and grief can’t coexist. God designed your heart to hold both.
2. Spend time in God’s Word. The Psalms are full of honest lament and hopeful praise. Let Scripture give language to your grief and anchor you in truth.
3. Surround yourself with community. Don’t walk through grief alone. Reach out to family members, friends, or a support group. Let others pray for you, sit with you, and remind you of God’s faithfulness.
4. Look for small moments of beauty. Like planting hydrangeas, find simple acts that remind you God is still creating, still growing, still present.
5. Trust God’s timing. Healing doesn’t happen on our schedule. Give yourself grace and trust that God will bring restoration in his perfect timing, even when you can’t see it yet.

Holding Grief and Joy Together Is an Act of Faith

Holding grief and joy together may feel quieter and more tender, but what he produces through it will hold. He is the gardener, and he does not waste a single hard season. Trust that what he is producing in you, however slowly, is exactly what he promised.

He is always faithful and always good.

Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Your grief doesn’t disqualify you from joy. Your tears don’t cancel out God’s goodness. You can grieve with hope because Jesus has already won the victory over death, pain, and sorrow.

If you’re in a waiting season right now, know that you’re not alone. Our Mission Hills Women’s Ministry is here to walk alongside you and help you find your community. Check out our Bible Studies and Community Groups to find the support you need. Or join our Women’s Ministry newsletter to stay connected, encouraged, and supported in your faith journey.

✏️  AUTHOR CREDITS

This blog was written by the Mission Hills Church Women’s Ministry.